By: Tim Rocks
In addition to my cartooning duties, I sometimes venture into the perfervid swamps of journalism. Thus it was no surprise that when a local mid-level paleontologist decided to go rogue and dish some dirt on the whole bone racket, that he should turn to me to help get the word out (I have a large readership; they're just very shy about commenting.)
I've agreed to protect his identity since there's a lot at stake, as you'll see if you read what he has to say---and he's understandably concerned that his turn as a paleo "Deep Throat" could bring retribution from those invested in the status quo Dino Paradigm. "Professor Patella" will be his moniker then---lest he end up a fossil himself!
Me: So lemme get this straight---you don't really believe in all this dino hoo-ha, do you?
Professor Patella: [He sighs. Takes puff of cigarette.] No. No I don't.
Me: The readers can't see your face obviously, since we've lighted you in silhouette---but I've seen it and, frankly, it's got more wrinkles than an elephant's trunk (or brachiosaur's tail, if you prefer.) Is that because you're very wise, or is it the stress of this Big Lie?
PP: The latter.
Me: So tell me about that---how'd you get involved in this big scam?
PP: [Sighs.] It all started when I was a kid, of course. That's usually how it starts. The Paleo-Industrial-Complex hooks you right in with a gut-level emotional appeal. Before you've developed any proper distinction between