Oct 19, 2016

The Dinosaur Fakers - 1

Starting a new project here...
This is planned to be a picture book when it's finished, probably printed through CreateSpace or some other print on demand place.
But until then, I will just serialize it here...

* * * * *

Bernhard was standing around on a busy corner, looking for easy marks. His common law wife Lena was keeping an eye out for the fuzz.
A man came out of a shop. He was a prosperous-looking man in a gray suit. He began walking down the sidewalk, in the general direction of the mustachioed con.
"Excuse me," said Bernhard, as he gave the man a good jarring and lifted his wallet.
"Mind where you're going," said the man, without pausing.
"Heh-heh," Bernhard chuckled to himself. It gave him an extra frisson of pleasure when the marks were nasty.
Lena whistled. That was the signal to close up shop and skedaddle.

"What's up," said Bernhard, when they met around the block at a pre-determined spot.
"Plain-clothes dick," said Lena. "Don't look now, but he's coming towards us."
"Shit," said Bernhard. "Do you think he knows, or he's just suspicious?"
"What difference does it make, dummy," said Lena. She reached toward her purse to grab a cigarette pack, but Bernhard caught her wrist in his hand.
"Wait," said Bernhard. "Let's slip in here."
The Museum was having a big dinosaur exhibit. Crowds of people were thronging in and out. It looked like a perfect place to disappear and try to shake this plain-clothes dick.

Bernhard and Lena both chuckled nastily when they got inside and saw how jam-packed the place was. "That plain-clothes dick will never find us in this mob of imbeciles," they were thinking.
Lena lighted up, and offered one to Bernhard.
"Thanks," said Bernhard, letting her light his as well. He took a long drag and relaxed a bit. They had had a decent morning. Not spectacular, but they would live to fight again. Then he paused by one of the exhibits. He began to chuckle.
"What?" said Lena. "What's so funny?"
"Don't you see?" said Bernhard. "This skeleton! Or fossil, or whatever it's called. It's pure balderdash."
"Good word," said Lena. "So you're not buying it?"
"It's bunk, if you prefer," said Bernhard. "Take it from an old bunko artist."

"Mommy, Mommy!" said a snot-nosed little boy standing nearby. "That man said dinosaurs are bunk!"
"How dare you," said the boy's mother, glaring at Bernhard.
"But just look at its neck," said Bernhard. "Sure. 'Eighty-eight feet' long. I'm buying that. And did you catch the numerology there?"
"Numerology?" said the woman. "Come, Taylor. We do not associate with madmen."
"They're having you on," said Bernhard to the lady's back.
"Waah!" said the little boy as he was led off.

"And that teeny-tiny head," Bernhard went on. He was chuckling with something almost like admiration at the audacity of the con. "Pumping foliage down that long pipe-line all the live-long day. Heh-heh. Pump! Pump! Pump! Gotta keep that 77-ton torso fueled up! Sure..."
"It does seem a bit fishy," Lena agreed.
"Fishy?" said Bernhard, gesticulating wildly. "It stinks to high heaven! It's rotten as two-day old shrimp! It's phony as a three-dollar bill!"

"Stop gesticulating wildly," said Lena. "That plain-clothes dick might still be around."

Sep 30, 2016

"GoldBug" available on Amazon

"GoldBug: The Bug's Big Jungle Jam" (see recent posts below) is now available through Amazon as a printed copy for $7.99:

The proof copies (printed by Amazon's CreateSpace) look very good, I think--- they're on matte paper, instead of the annoying glossy paper most comics are printed on these days.

Sep 22, 2016

Interview with a Rogue Paleontologist

By: Tim Rocks

In addition to my cartooning duties, I sometimes venture into the perfervid swamps of journalism. Thus it was no surprise that when a local mid-level paleontologist decided to go rogue and dish some dirt on the whole bone racket, that he should turn to me to help get the word out (I have a large readership; they're just very shy about commenting.)

I've agreed to protect his identity since there's a lot at stake, as you'll see if you read what he has to say---and he's understandably concerned that his turn as a paleo "Deep Throat" could bring retribution from those invested in the status quo Dino Paradigm. "Professor Patella" will be his moniker then---lest he end up a fossil himself!

* * * * *

Me: So lemme get this straight---you don't really believe in all this dino hoo-ha, do you?

Professor Patella: [He sighs. Takes puff of cigarette.] No. No I don't.

Me: The readers can't see your face obviously, since we've lighted you in silhouette---but I've seen it and, frankly, it's got more wrinkles than an elephant's trunk (or brachiosaur's tail, if you prefer.) Is that because you're very wise, or is it the stress of this Big Lie?

PP: The latter.

Me: So tell me about that---how'd you get involved in this big scam?

PP: [Sighs.] It all started when I was a kid, of course. That's usually how it starts. The Paleo-Industrial-Complex hooks you right in with a gut-level emotional appeal. Before you've developed any proper distinction between 

Sep 8, 2016

Front and back cover design, Interior cover

I'm trying to get this comic set up for CreateSpace, becoming a "graphic designer" for a day...

I was really excited about the interior cover design (3rd image below), which would span front and back inside covers; however, it looks like CreateSpace might just force you to leave the interior covers blank. So far I don't see any option for uploading that image.

Also, they have a 40 mb limit on the cover image, and 600dpi watercolor scans just blow through that...

Sep 6, 2016

Coming soon to a theater near you...


For anyone who's curious what this is about... the idea to draw this came while reading a post at CluesForum.info. There was a thread there about the possibility of dinosaurs being a hoax, or at least partial hoax. Someone was talking about Jurassic Park IV, I think, or some dinosaur movie; and they noted that it wasn't just promoting dinosaurs, but also some other long-term cultural meme (I forget what exactly.)

Anyway, that got me thinking about a movie trying to combine every conceivable "project" or social engineering scheme out there. I did not really manage to include them all in the drawing itself---the main image I had in mind was just the spy/dinosaur combo, initially.

Sep 5, 2016

p.43-44 "The Lame Conclusion"

And it's finally done. Well, except I still have to design the front and back covers, and interior covers. And then format the whole thing as a PDF for CreateSpace (I've decided to try them since they seem to have a non-glossy paper option.) Not that very many people are likely to buy it, but personally I'd like to see how it looks in print form.

Hope you have enjoyed reading... or scanning, who knows if anyone reads it.. I don't blame you, really.. Lots of entertainment options out there. Anyway, stay tuned, I have plans for something completely different next time out.