"Worse
than that, even," said Bernhard, tilting his head in the direction of the
outraged mother. She was talking to a museum docent, and pointing at Bernhard
and Lena. "Looks like we're going to get a stern talking to."
The
docent was coming towards them now, a broad phony smile on her face.
"Hel-lohhh,
there," she said in a fake sing-songy way that annoyed Bernhard and Lena.
Both thought about blowing smoke in the docent's face, but managed to restrain
themselves.
"We
want everyone to enjoy the
exhibit," said the docent. "It sounded like you might have some, er, questions that I could help you
with...?"
"Yeah,"
said Bernhard. "I got a question: Who comes up with this malarkey?"
"B-but,
sir!" the docent stuttered, recoiling a bit. "Don't you understand?
This is science! We are simply
presenting... the results... of the,
er, top men in the field of
paleontology."
Bernhard
chuckled his nastiest chuckle and took a leisurely drag on his cigarette. It
was pleasant watching this lady stooge flounder a bit. The small audience of
bystanders forming around them made it even more delicious.
The
docent was beginning to find the silence unbearable.
"Why,
uh... like Barnum Brown, for instance," she went on. "Or 'Mr. Bones'
as he is known affectionately. He is one of our very top men. It was his good
fortune to discover the T. Rex, you
know."
"That
the one with the little stub arms?" said Bernhard. "Not very
convincing. I like that name though: 'Barnum.' Kind of gives the game away right
there now, don't it?"
"'Game'?"
said the docent. "What 'game'?"
"Like
the showman," said Bernhard. "Good ol' P.T. ... Purveyor of bunk...
blarney... and bogosity."
"Sir,
I really do not think you are expert
enough to determine---" the
docent said, searching for some conclusive way to end the conversation.
"I
happen to know that your 'Barnum Brown' (and his bogus name) is an intelligence
asset," said Bernhard. (In fact Bernhard was bluffing: he only guessed
that Brown might be an asset.) "That being the case, how do I know all
these 'fossils' aren't just casts taken from various ordinary creatures,
perhaps with a horn or claws added here and there in Sculpey?"
A great
number of children were crying now. Lena chuckled nastily and took a drag. It
would almost be worth getting busted by that plain-clothes dick, if it meant
getting to see this show.
"Plus
the weight distribution," said Bernhard. "Most of these things would
have had some serious lower back issues."
"Perhaps
that's why they went extinct!" said the docent triumphantly.
"The
only stink is the stench of your lies and misinformation," said Bernhard.
The
docent gasped. Bernhard and Lena chuckled as she turned away from them with a
look of pert resignation.
"Children,"
she said, "I want you to shield your ears from all this nonsense. There
will always be those who spew hate-filled ignorance. We must learn to separate
out the good, reliable sources from the bad and untrustworthy ones."
The
crowd began drifting away. Bernhard caught a glare from one of the mothers
though.
"What?"
he said. "We're doing it a favor. It needs to know the truth."
Bernhard
and Lena left the Museum and walked to a cafe. They used their ill-gotten gains
to buy Reuben sandwiches and Earl Grey tea.
"Say,"
said Bernhard, as they sat sipping tea. "An idea has occurred to me."
"Yeah?
Whaddaya got? Ya big dummy," said Lena.
"This
line of work we're in is strictly small-time. I want a big score. Something
that will set us up for a long while. Maybe even give us status,
prestige."
"That
docent was right about you after all," said Lena. "You're a spewer of
bilge-water and nonsense."
"I
never even had a bilge," said Bernhard. "Anyway, my point is this: I
want in on the Dino Racket."