Interview with a Rogue Paleontologist

By: Tim Rocks

In addition to my cartooning duties, I sometimes venture into the perfervid swamps of journalism. Thus it was no surprise that when a local mid-level paleontologist decided to go rogue and dish some dirt on the whole bone racket, that he should turn to me to help get the word out (I have a large readership; they're just very shy about commenting.)

I've agreed to protect his identity since there's a lot at stake, as you'll see if you read what he has to say---and he's understandably concerned that his turn as a paleo "Deep Throat" could bring retribution from those invested in the status quo Dino Paradigm. "Professor Patella" will be his moniker then---lest he end up a fossil himself!

* * * * *

Me: So lemme get this straight---you don't really believe in all this dino hoo-ha, do you?

Professor Patella: [He sighs. Takes puff of cigarette.] No. No I don't.

Me: The readers can't see your face obviously, since we've lighted you in silhouette---but I've seen it and, frankly, it's got more wrinkles than an elephant's trunk (or brachiosaur's tail, if you prefer.) Is that because you're very wise, or is it the stress of this Big Lie?

PP: The latter.

Me: So tell me about that---how'd you get involved in this big scam?

PP: [Sighs.] It all started when I was a kid, of course. That's usually how it starts. The Paleo-Industrial-Complex hooks you right in with a gut-level emotional appeal. Before you've developed any proper distinction between 

 reality and fantasy.

Me: So you were an innocent victim, basically? You didn't set out to mislead the public and spew propaganda?

PP: No, not at all. I thought I was doing good. You see, I was basically (like so many people) very naive, trusting and obedient. The school system rewarded these qualities of mine, so why should I argue? The more I "buckled down" and learned the official dogma, the more I was rewarded.

Me: It sounds insidious.

PP: Yes. It's a dark, dark system of control and brainwashing---much like all the other civilizations that have ever existed. Perhaps "science" makes it a little worse.

Me: So schools don't really want you to ask questions... I remember that from when I "did time" in those joints. Best to just keep your head low and regurgitate the propaganda, right?

PP: Oh, yeah. Sure. Well, the teachers themselves are mostly just doing time. Getting a paycheck. Regurgitating what they've been taught. Everybody on down the line is just supposed to "trust the experts," never have an opinon or idea of their own.

Me: When an expert speculates, it spawns a new theory, or worldview, a whole new "truth"; when I speculate it's wildly unfounded, untested, even a "conspiracy theory."

PP: Oh, sure. It's absolutely a rigged system.

Me: But it must've gotten better after the lower grades, right? Once you got into grad school, then I'm sure they encouraged independent thinking.

PP: Not at all. Just the opposite, in fact. It only got worse. The thing is, just to get to that level, you've already proven yourself fairly docile and complacent---able to do lots of BS "learning" and busy work... You've been "selected out" as a perfect tool of their system. "Smart" in a book sense, but still very obedient and pliable. A spineless factotum, an intellectual golem.

Me: Clever, clever---they've designed the whole system to filter out the most easily brainwashed.

PP: Yes. "Education" is equivalent to "propaganda" basically, in their usage. The more "educated" you are, the more you believe in their vast complex of lies and misinformation. Thus, you can be accorded a high status position as a professor, brainwashing the next generation of dupes and saps.

Me: I like it! It's a self-licking ice-cream cone.

PP: Oh, my god, the institutional inertia. Anyway, that last hazing at the PhD level is among the most intense. Because here you're not just "hazed" as part of a class of anonymous drones, taking multiple choice tests or other "mass production" forms of schooling; no, this is more of a "bespoke" or custom process---you must prove you fit their "institutional culture." This goes beyond your specific field into a general interpersonal sense of holding the "right views" on political and social issues...

Me: And you did fit in?

PP: Oh, I did. Like I said, I just soaked up everything I was told, for years and years. Believed it all. And was richly rewarded.

Me: So how did you ever get off the reservation?

PP: I guess I still had some dim shred of my own mind buried deep under all the BS they had loaded on top of me. Anyway, while it is possible to remain blind even as a professor, you are a little closer to seeing the sausage get made. But if you can't stomach that, just keep to theory and secondary sources.

Me: The vast edifice of gobbledygook...

PP: Yes, it's like the old scholastic problem of how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. You start from these assumptions and biases, or a certain scientific "paradigm," and then everything you see has to conform to that. One side-benefit of this (from the point of view of the system) is that it creates this imposing facade of minutiae that the layperson can never hope to penetrate---and thus casts an aura of erudition and respectability over what is, at base, a giant fraud.

Me: The beauty of it is, if I understand you, that these "theorists" may really believe their own BS.

PP: Oh, absolutely. They're having a grand old time weaving these webs of "creative writing." They never look critically at the primary evidence, the fossils say, or whatever got the ball rolling 100 years ago. They're building castles in the air.

Me: And did you look at the fossils?

PP: Well, this is just it---the public never realizes that much of what they're allowed to see are "reconstructions"---mostly from this one factory in China, "Ocean Arts" or something. Yes, it's more art than science alright. But as a close student of the dino-fantasia, me, I eventually start to notice---hey, where are the actual fossils? What, I can only study them based on drawings and reconstructions? You lost the original? And the ones you do have photos of, that you say are "excellent specimens," look like a vaguely dino shaped pile of rocks? Is there any really good stuff anywhere? Well, supposedly there are warehouses full of the junk... somewhere... I guess the "big boys" at Yale and Harvard get to go in there, the ones whose families got the whole scam started to begin with. The bones must not be exposed to light and air, or the hoi polloi especially.

Me: Sort of like that warehouse in Indiana Jones, that goes on for acres and acres.

PP: Yes, exactly, because both are Hollywood myth-making... Magic of the sorcerors.

Me: Okay, Part Two---what's the point of all this? Seems kind of kookily elaborate, no?

PP: Well, as I said, there's this institutional inertia. Once the ball gets rolling, it gathers more and more wax---jobs and lives depend on it all being "real." And continued funding depends on new "discoveries," new theories.

So the whole thing metastasizes endlessly. Here's a thought experiment---you know how kids lose interest in dinos at a certain point, just like their fascination with dump-trucks drops off?

Me: Oh yeah. Dump-trucks definitely lose their sheen at some point.

PP: Well just imagine you removed this prop of funding. Would these guys be any different? I'm guessing they wouldn't even write about dinos as a hobby. They're completely playing a role, as society demands.

Me: Good point.

PP: But that aside---in the big picture, social engineering sense, here's my guess as to what is at play. Early on, in the 1800s, it may have been just some hobbyist rich dudes, finding fossils, either mis-identifying them accidentally, or outright having people on. But then a little later, boom, you've got Darwin and Evolution, and he's probably just fronting for the Royal Society crew (or connected at the hip anyway.) And these same Royal Society guys start pushing dinos---give them a name, et cetera. Make it a going concern---build life-size iguanadons and stick 'em in the "Crystal Palace" for the public to gawk at.

So at that time, it was part of their move from Christianity to the scientific worldview. A way to bamboozle the public, and create skepticism about religion. I'm not arguing pro or con on Christianity, just saying there was a turf war between the two groups.

Okay, that was then. But dinosaurs went into quiescence for a while. Weirdly, interest died down for much of the mid-20th century. Suggests to me that the spooks were perhaps focused on WWI and WWII, or other scientific intrigues, and felt they could rest on their dino laurels for a bit.

It doesn't start back up again---the psy-op---until the 60s or 70s, what they call the "Dinosaur Renaissance"... And why? My guess is that they realized it's a brilliantly subtle and oblique way to usher children into the scientistic worldview---that is, they knew from experience that dinos have a great emotional resonance with the public, especially children. And thus, they could make it a big linch-pin in their propaganda, as with the Jurassic Park movies and such. It passes by parents' radar as innocuous entertainment, but in fact is a "gateway drug" to much harder substances.

Me: So nefarious! So clever!

PP: Yes, well, these think-tanks like Tavistock and Esalen see the world as a zone of psychological warfare. Class warfare, mostly. And they're playing some advanced form of chess, whereas you, the public, at best are playing checkers. Most don't even realize "the game is afoot," as Holmes was wont to say.

Me: Alright, Holmes. Peace out. Hope you can find a good wrinkle cream brand for all that stress the breakdown of your psyche has caused.

PP: [Puffs cigarette.] I'm definitely doing some self-medicating.